Weekender Bahrain, Friday, February 15 2019

Dream Job or Love: What to choose?

admin 15-Jun-2017

Dream Job or Love: What to choose?

Dear Anita,

For the last six months I have been in a very happy relationship with a woman and we started planning our future together, however I just found out that my company is relocating to another country and my girlfriend needs to finish her studies here in Bahrain. She doesn’t want me to go as she doesn’t believe in long distance relationships, but my job means to me a lot. What decision shall I make?

M. 

Dear M.,

These days it is common that people move to other cities or countries for a better job, salary or simply to try living somewhere else. Often they benefit from such decisions not only financially, but also by experiencing a totally different lifestyle. The price they pay is being away from home, family and friends and keeping in touch requires some effort.

Long distance relationships are not easy, mainly because they lack daily physical contact: holding hands, cuddling, kissing or even participating in common activities like eating, going out together etc. Sometimes such separation may last a few days or weeks, but also can have no time frame.

That is why the two of you should sit down and discuss how you see your future together. Is it going to be only a temporary situation and after a while one will relocate (this perspective already has a happy ending) or maybe such state can last longer and you’ll be visiting one another? Is your relationship strong enough? Are you ready for that?

It is important to talk about your plans and expectations, then the decision will be better thought. Not everybody will be happy in a long distance relationship. People have different personalities and needs. For example, for those who are more independent and enjoy solitude, it can be easier as they will be occupied by their own activities.Then Skype, text messages, phone calls and occasional visits should be enough to maintain connection with the partner back home.

It may be harder for people who need someone to be around, comfort them after a difficult day, go out with them to a cinema or a restaurant. Then there is a possibility that they will try to fill this emotional gap with company of somebody else. And I think this is the most frightening vision for couples who decide to live apart from each other.

Have you considered looking for professional opportunities in Bahrain? Perhaps with your experience you could find an equally interesting job in another company. Try to contact some recruitment agents, they might guide you where to send your CV. Such change could be refreshing for your career and better for your relationship. I assume you still have time to make a decision, so check what’s new on the job market.

Finally, if after weighing all pros and cons, you still decide that moving is the only reasonable option, try to convince your girlfriend to this idea. You will have a chance to check the strength of your feelings, you will miss each other more and then appreciate the time together. But there are phones and airplanes and hopefully you will find a way to cope with loneliness until she graduates or you get a job here. Wishing you best of luck!