The delayed inspiration disorder
So, I finally get the opportunity to present my views on any subject I wish. In the beginning, topics and questions piled up. Eventually I landed on ‘what compels us to create?’ Instead of finding answers, I alternatively encountered what hinders creativity. Who doesn’t like irony? At first, no setting inspired. I tried my office. Cafe Darseen. Some garden green. I paced. I crouched on the floor with laptop, papers and books. But no matter the place, the rituals, the music, the stimulants: Nothing. Still, like any diligent writer, I researched. Surely, going in-depth will lead to my own brilliance. Whatever I read, did not probe. Whatever I wrote did not flow.
I need new ideas.Enter procrastination: the creative act of finding alternate activities to avoid important tasks, despite consequences of delay being evidently negative. I watched 5 Korean romantic dramas, started two novels, downloaded 3 new word games, and socialized like butterflies. Meanwhile, I’m relieved to discover that 20% of people chronically procrastinate. It’s nice to share guilt.
Alternatively,I’m an artist, I trust the creative process. Procrastination: the creative act of letting ideas simmer in the background, while expecting inspiration and flow. Then I attacked a cabinet dusting since 2006. Now I have 4 drawers of notebooks, and enough envelopes to open a post office. Aha! I’ll explore compulsive collecting. Here goes: A third of any population collects obsessively; there are varieties and extremes of this obsession; psychology explains it as filling a void and needing control; and freud in particular has a really twisted view about it. More guck. More guilt. Desperately Next!
Meanwhile, I’m relieved that I don’t fit into any category of procrastinators. Example, I don’t mind failure, so I’m not the ‘Avoider type’. Nor am I the ‘Arousal type’ seeking last minute thrills. Apparently, a common symptom in procrastination is cunning self deception. DaVinci was famously a procrastinator. Pigeons also procrastinate. I doubt they cunningly self-deceive. By the way, I’m banging my head against a wall.
Melodrama? Well, I’m ping-ponging between topic and place. I now adopted Korean-like gestures in my speech. My room is a mess from ‘last-seen-in-2006’. Plus I’m a wretched existence of agony and self denial. The Question: Is my ailment writer’s block or procrastination? It is both, and it is neither. Because in addition to all above achievements, I have 4 half begun articles. Or maybe, it’s a marriage of the two? First thought, eww ugly babies. Next! Next! Next!
But wait…why not? Just as species are variably susceptible to specific disease strains, what if there is a strain of procrastination attacking only the creative breed? It looks like procrastination, but also fails to qualify. This needs a new name and its own listed symptoms and qualifying criteria. I shall call it Adversmusation. Etymology: latin* [‘adversus’— against] + [‘musa’ —muse]: A condition of delayed inspiration experienced strictly by creatives, necessarily disabling their production of an intended creative output. Yep! That mouthful, is exactly what I’ve got. Next?
Towards the end of 2015, Fatima decided to pursue a creative and purposeful life. Today she is mostly known in her community as a poet— but she is also a freelancing copy-writer, creative/business consultant, editor, private tutor, and an energy healer practiced in both Reiki and Pranic Healing.She is inspired by nature, travel, and books. The readings on Fati’s shelf range from classic to modern literature, art, natural sciences, history, philosophy, psychology, and spirituality.Her values include the pursuit of knowledge, a faith in kindness, and a responsibility towards community.